How Self-Awareness Improves Marriages

Hi there! Steven here. Welcome to my cyber-corner. I want to talk about something close to my heart and share some of my personal experiences as well. The topic? How self-awareness improves marriages.

You see, over the years, I’ve learned that being self-aware isn’t just a nice thing to have; it’s essential. It’s easy to assume that relationships work themselves out or that love alone is enough to keep everything intact. But the truth is, a deep awareness of ourselves — our emotions, triggers, and patterns — is what truly strengthens the bond between partners.

When we’re self-aware, we can recognize when we’re upset, why we’re upset, and what we need to feel better. In my marriage, this has made all the difference. Early on, I used to react out of frustration or stress, often without fully understanding why. Sometimes, I’d snap at my wife for something trivial, or worse, retreat into silence, leaving her to wonder what went wrong.

But over time, through the work I do with clients (and honestly, some personal reflection), I began to realize that my reactions often weren’t about the situation at hand. They were tied to deeper insecurities or stressors in my life. Once I started identifying these feelings and communicating them more openly, things changed.

Being able to say, “I’m feeling overwhelmed right now, and it’s not about you” has been a game-changer. It’s an invitation for empathy instead of defensiveness. It allows my partner to understand where I’m coming from, and in turn, she can respond with patience instead of frustration. It creates a space where we both feel heard and supported.

Self-awareness also means recognizing when I’m not showing up the way I want to. Am I being present enough? Am I listening, really listening? These questions allow me to reflect on my actions and adjust accordingly, rather than assuming everything’s fine without checking in.

Now, self-awareness doesn’t mean being perfect. I still slip up sometimes. But it has made a huge difference in how we communicate and understand each other’s needs.

So, if there’s one piece of advice I’d give to anyone wanting to improve their marriage or any relationship, it’s this: Start with self-awareness. It’s not just about knowing yourself; it’s about knowing how your feelings and behaviors affect the people you care about.

Here’s to growing together, understanding one another, and continually becoming the best versions of ourselves in relationships.