How to Make Good Decisions on the Fly: Avoiding Impulsive Behaviors

Hello. Steven here. Welcome back to my cyber-corner.  Many decisions we make are often made without us realizing it. As a matter of fact, by the time we realize that we have made a decision, there are consequences attached. It’s like our brain hits the “go” button before we’ve had a chance to think, “Wait, is this the best choice?” For some, especially kids, these impulsive decisions can lead to frustration, conflict, or regret. Maybe it was a heated reply, an impulsive purchase, or spontaneously doing something that your mother asked you not to do. Sound familiar? The good news? We can learn to slow down and make better decisions, even in the heat of the moment.

In this post, I’ll explain why impulsive decisions happen so easily and share practical, research-backed strategies to help you (or your child) make better decisions on the fly.

Why Do We Make Impulsive Decisions?

Impulsive decisions often stem from how our brains are wired. The prefrontal cortex, the part of the brain responsible for planning and self-control, isn’t fully developed until our mid-20s. For kids and teens, this means their brains are naturally more prone to acting on impulse, especially when emotions run high or focus wanes. Even adults can fall into this trap when stressed, distracted, or tired.

Think of your brain like a tug-of-war between two teams:

- The Impulse Team: This is the fast, emotional part of your brain (the amygdala) that loves instant rewards and quick actions. It says, “Do it now! It feels good!”

- The Planning Team: This is the slower, logical prefrontal cortex that weighs consequences and considers long-term goals. It says, “Hold on, let’s think this through.”

When focus slips or emotions spike, the Impulse Team often wins. The key to better decision-making is strengthening the Planning Team and giving it a fighting chance, even in the moment.

Practical Strategies for Making Good Decisions on the Fly

Here are five practical, easy-to-use strategies to help you or your child pause, think, and choose wisely, even when decisions need to be made quickly. These tips are grounded in cognitive-behavioral techniques and can be adapted for kids, teens, or adults.

1. Use the “Pause and Breathe” Trick

The simplest way to avoid an impulsive decision is to create a tiny gap between the urge to act and the action itself. Teach yourself or your child to take a deep breath and count to three before responding. This brief pause gives the Planning Team a chance to catch up.

- For Kids: Say, “I am a superhero and use your ‘Pause Power.’ Take a big breath and count: 1, 2, 3!” Practice this during calm moments so it becomes a habit.

- For Adults: When you feel the urge to act (e.g., snapping at someone or making a quick purchase), take a slow breath and ask, “Is this what I really want?”

2. Ask the “What Happens Next?” Question

Impulsive decisions often ignore consequences. Train yourself to ask, “What happens if I do this?” This simple question forces your brain to think one step ahead.

- For Kids: Visualize outcomes. For example, if you want to grab a snack before dinner, ask, “What happens if you eat this now? Will you still be hungry for dinner?” Keep it light and curious, not judgmental.

- For Adults: Before hitting “buy” online or saying something in a heated moment, ask, “What’s the next thing that happens if I do this?” It’s a quick way to weigh pros and cons.

3. Create a “Go-To Rule”

Having a pre-set rule can guide decisions when focus is low. For example, your child might agree with their parent to “always ask before doing something.” For adults, it could be, “I’ll wait 24 hours before buying anything over $50.” These rules act like guardrails, keeping you on track.

- For Kids: Create one or two simple rules for common situations (e.g., “Check with Mom before using the iPad”). Write the rule down and post it somewhere visible.

- For Adults: Identify your impulsive triggers (e.g., stress-eating or overspending) and set a clear rule to follow in those moments.

4. Practice “Brain Rehearsals”

Athletes visualize their performance before a game, and we can do the same for decision-making. Rehearse how to handle tricky situations when you’re calm, so you’re ready when impulses strike.

- For Kids: Role-play scenarios like sharing toys or waiting your turn. (Parents, be sure to praise them when they make a thoughtful choice in the rehearsal. For example, “Wow, you thought about your friend’s feelings—that’s a great decision!”)

- For Adults: Before a stressful meeting or shopping trip, mentally walk through how you’ll handle temptations or triggers. Visualize yourself pausing and choosing wisely.

5. Celebrate Thoughtful Choices

Positive reinforcement builds habits. When you or your child make a good decision, even a small one, celebrate it! This strengthens the Planning Team and makes thoughtful choices more rewarding than impulsive ones.

- For Kids: Make it a habit to be thoughtful and acknowledge when you are thoughtful. Say, “I did a good job of stopping to think before choosing—that was smart!” Small rewards, like extra playtime, can help too.

- For Adults: Acknowledge your wins. Did you walk away from an impulse buy? Treat yourself to a moment of pride or a small, healthy reward, like a coffee break.

Putting It All Together

Making good decisions on the fly isn’t about being perfect—it’s about giving yourself a moment to think before you act. Impulsive decisions are easy because they’re fast and feel good in the moment, but with practice, you can train your brain to choose what aligns with your goals. Start small: pick one strategy from this list and try it for a week. Whether it’s taking a breath, asking “What happens next?” or setting a go-to rule, every step forward counts.

For parents, these strategies can be a game-changer for kids who struggle with making poor decisions . Remember, sometimes those bad decisions are not intentional. They were just made instantly. Be patient, practice together, and celebrate progress. For adults, these tools can help you navigate life’s many split-second choices with confidence and clarity.

What’s one decision you’d like to approach differently? Try one of these strategies and let me know how it goes! Until next time, keep making thoughtful choices.