The Myth of Perfection in Marriage: How to embrace imperfection in marriage?

Hello to you all. Steven here, and welcome to my cyber-corner. Today, I want to talk about something that I have seen come up over and over in my career of counseling: the myth of the perfect marriage. We all have heard it — “couples who are meant to be together never fight,” or “if you love someone enough, everything will fall into place” or "Love/Marriage should not be this hard." Well, I hate to break it to you, but that’s just not true.

The truth is no one has a perfect marriage: not even the couples you admire from afar. Marriage is hard and those whose marriage resembles some form of functionality, work hard at it. Marriage, like everything else in life, is messy, complicated, and filled with its fair share of challenges. But that does not mean it is not worth it — in fact, embracing imperfections can make it even stronger.

Let’s take a closer look at what perfection really means when it comes to relationships. The idea of a flawless marriage sets an unrealistic bar that most people can never meet. Expectations get high, disappointment sets in, and suddenly you feel like you are failing. The truth? You are not. You are just being human.

Here’s what I have learned from working with couples over the years: imperfection is where growth happens. It is in those disagreements, misunderstandings, and moments of vulnerability where we get the opportunity to learn more about our partner — and ourselves. These imperfections are where empathy deepens, where trust is built, and where true intimacy grows.

So, if you’re feeling like your relationship does not quite look like the ones in movies or Instagram, you’re in good company. Here’s a secret: that’s okay. The key is learning to embrace the bumps along the way, rather than hoping they will magically disappear.

Instead of striving for perfection, focus on progress. Listen to your partner, be willing to apologize, and accept their imperfections just as you would hope they would accept yours. Healthy relationships are built on understanding, patience, and compromise — not flawless execution.

At the end of the day, what matters most is not perfection, but connection. Marriage is about growing together, working through challenges side by side, and creating a partnership where both people can be their authentic selves.

So, if you’re feeling pressure to make everything perfect in your relationship, take a deep breath and let that go. Real love is not about achieving perfection — it is about accepting and growing through imperfection.

Let’s embrace the messiness together.